5 Times Sam Wanted to Come Out (And One Time He Did)
by MoniNicole94
Summary: Sam from the age of 7 onwards, struggling with things. (Some hurt!Sam and supportive!Dean)


**Warnings: Obviously LGBT themes (which makes sense by the title). Horrible people. Bullying. I think that's it.**

 **One**

Sam was seven and walking with Dean from school. His little backpack was almost as big as him, but he wanted to be cool like his big brother and carry a backpack like his. His was just lacking a few of the features that Dean's had, like a pocket knife and a small flask of holy water.

Sam wasn't paying much attention to where he was going, instead opting out to look around his surroundings. There were some kids riding skateboards and bikes, since it was a nice sunny day. Sam wished he had one of those, but dad said that there was no room for it in the car. Maybe someday, but not today. Sam sighed softly, wanting that life.

That's when he saw two guys, about dad or Uncle Bobby's age, walking down the sidewalk across from them, holding hands. His eyes were wide. Yeah, he held Dean or dad's hand, but he didn't know that men could still hold hands like that. He reached up and tugged on Dean's arm, making his older brother look down at him.

"What?" Dean asked.

"Are they brothers too?" Sam asked, pointing at the men across the street.

"Eh, probably. I don't know." Dean said. He didn't want to have this talk with Sam right now. "Come on." He pulled Sam down the sidewalk.

"But I thought when you got daddy's age, you could only hold hands with a girl." Sam said. Dean shrugged.

"I dunno dude. Maybe." He sighed some. Why did Sam have to be so curious about everything? "Come on. I think there's still a couple ice cream sandwiches in the freezer. Want one?" That successfully distracted Sam. Dean was glad.

 **Two**

Eleven year old Sam was playing on the playground with the friends he had made since moving to this school. This was the longest he had been at one school in a while, and he was really glad. He liked it, and his teacher was really nice. And there was one boy, Daniel, that he had grown really close to. John had even let Sam go to his birthday party at the park. Of course, Dean hadn't been far away, sitting on a park bench under the guise that he was watching ducks and totally not keeping tabs on Sam.

"Sam!" Daniel called out from their "secret" clubhouse under the slide. Sam jumped off the swing and ran over to Daniel, a big grin on his face.

"Hey Daniel!" Sam said. Daniel had come out a little late from lunch, due to having to clean up a ketchup spill from squeezing the bottle while eating and getting it all over the table. Sam settled across from Daniel on the mulch.

"Are you ready for the summer?" Daniel asked. School would be over soon and, as much as Sam longed to stay there and play with his friends, he knew that they would be moving on soon. Sam's smile fell some and he shrugged. "What's wrong?"

"I'll probably be moving soon." Sam admitted. Daniel frowned.

"But you're my best friend!" Daniel said. Sam shrugged. "Well, then I guess I better do this now. I saw my older sister do this and I wanted to try it."

He leaned forward then and pressed his lips to Sam's. Sam had seen Dean kiss girls all the time, but Sam had never had the chance. Their lips were parted like Dean would do, but it was still a kiss. Sam's first kiss.

"Woah." Daniel said, leaning back. "No wonder my sister kisses guys all the time." Sam felt his cheeks redden.

Sam moved not long after that, but the memory of kissing Daniel was still in his mind, even when he started at a new school.

 **Three**

He wasn't gay. He still thought Sarah Michelle Geller was hot. Her in her Buffy gear was the object of many of his wet dreams at night. But so was David Boreanaz, and Brad Pitt. And Sam was just so confused, like many sixteen year olds would be. So Sam did what any confused kid would. He tried it out.

He met Chad in his chemistry class. He was good looking with jet black hair with frosted tips and he had soft features like Leonardo DiCaprio. They were lab partners and Chad invited Sam to his house to catch up on lab notes. Dean and John were out of town, so Sam went. And they had studied at first, and he had taken up the offer from Chad's mom to stay the night.

That night, Sam learned how to give head. He was sloppy, but Chad seemed to like it, especially when Sam's gag reflex kicked in. Sam had seen enough porn when Dean would think he was asleep to know the basics of what he was doing. And when Chad stood behind him and took his virginity, Sam wondered if it was supposed to hurt that bad, and if it hurt for girls too.

The worst part of the whole thing was that Monday at school. Faggot was wrote on Sam's locker with a window marker. Sam tried to clean it off through the tears falling down his face. Chad told the whole school about Sam begging him, asking Chad to let him suck his dick. It was one of the few times that Sam had begged John to leave town instead of fighting to stay.

Dean tried questioning him as he stared out the window of the Impala. Sam was acting like he had had his heartbroken, and Dean was trying to get the girl's name out of him. Sam made up some random name and told him it just wasn't meant to be.

Sam would never tell Dean the real reason why.

 **Four**

Jessica wanted it for her birthday. A threesome. She thought it would be fun to experiment some. Sam thought for a second that she had a crush on a girl in her religion class or something. But instead, when she told Sam to pick out the third, he wasn't sure what to say. She told him he could pick anyone he wanted. He didn't realize that this was more for him than for her. She knew he had a lot of repressed feelings about sex and she wanted to help him more.

Talking it over with her, they decided on a mutual friend of theirs. Mark was a basketball player and had a killer smile. He had flirted with Sam a few times, and they had gave each other hand jobs back before partners were involved. Sam was more nervous than Jessica was as he helped her prepare dinner for the night.

"Sam, we don't have to do this." She said. "We could just go to a movie or something."

"No, this is what you want to do." Sam said. He had secretly been looking forward to this all week, thinking about it while he took notes in class. It didn't help he had a couple classes with Mark and he would tell him things that he wanted to do.

Mark came over a little bit later. They had a nice dinner, talking about classes and future plans for the summer. The whole time, Mark ran a hand on Sam's thigh, making him shiver some. Jessica knew what she was doing when she cleaned up the plates and told the boys to go ahead and head upstairs.

After that night, Jessica could mark threesome with two guys off her bucket list and Sam, well Sam confirmed some long standing feelings in his mind that had been lingering for years.

 **Five**

The first body Ruby had after being forced from her body by Lilith was a man about Dean's height. She found Sam after he had buried Dean and held him close to the strong chest of her vessel as he cried over his brother. It was that body that gave him his first taste of demon blood. She helped comfort him in all the ways that she could, and fed him the blood that tasted like candy. She kept the vessel for about a month before Sam asked her to find another. She found her dark haired woman instead, and while Sam was a little disappointed, he soon found himself attracted to this one as well.

 **Six**

"Dean, can I talk to you?" Sam said. Dean had been cleaning a gun at the motel table. He kept kept up what he was doing.

"Sure Sammy." Dean said. Sam sighed.

"Dean, can you put that away for a minute please?" Sam asked. Dean looked up at him and shrugged before putting the gun down.

"Okay Sammy, what's so important?" Dean asked. Sam bounced on his feet for a minute before sighing and looking at his brother.

"Dean…I'm bi." Sam said. Dean just stared at him. "I think I've known for a long time, but I was just scared to say anything. And I…" Dean stood up and walked towards Sam. Sam was scared that Dean was going to hit him, tell him he was disgusted in him, tell him to leave. He was surprised when Dean wrapped his arms around Sam and pulled him into a bone crushing hug.

"I had a feeling." Dean said, holding Sam close. He pulled back after a moment. "No matter what Sam, I love you. You're still my brother. And this is nowhere near as bad as drinking demon blood, so I can't hate you for it."

"But…"

"No buts." Dean said. "And this is a good thing. Wanna know why?" Sam smiled some.

"Why Dean?" Sam asked.

"Because now you have double the chance of getting laid. Not that you will take the chance but still!" Dean said. Sam shook his head. OF course Dean would try to lighten the mood. "Come on."

'Where are we going?" Sam asked as Dean pulled him to the door.

"To the bar Sam!" Dean said. "And I, your trusted wingman, have a very important job of finding you a nice guy or girl to take to bed!" Sam just shook his head but followed Dean. He hadn't expected him to be this accepting.

He should've said something sooner.


End file.
